X-tremes

Speaking of times of good old’ self,
In a mental bondage I dwell myself.
Now the future I foresee,
Nothing but pain and misery.

Passing through the extremes the usual way,
Unusually f***ed up my words do say.
Within my hands I crush my fate,
I feel nothing but dirty hate.

Passing through the extremes the other way’
Chained to death by the twist of fate.
Looking at the mirror I do get a choice.
Live through the extremes or the “other side.”

My reflection stares back at me,
Looking for the extremes I hate to see.
Virtually I have seen it before,
Right down to the end of the core.

Passing through the extremes “the other side,”
Insanity and further mystified.
Loneliness it teases me,
I have passed the extremes just let me free.

Speaking of times of good old’ self,
Passing through the extremes the inner me.
Unusually f***ed up my words do question,
Is it Love, Hate, Tragedy!!!

Song of You

I keep searching for you,
The one I don’t know whom.
I search you in each and everyone.
Only to find you in bits and pieces.
I wander alone only for you,
In my dreams and distant places,
But I come back to where I was before,
Only to ask myself who are you.

I keep falling in love with you again and again,
Trying to see you in each and every face.
Spending many sleepless nights searching for the truth,
Whether I can stumble on you in her,
Hoping my search ends here.
But thy frantic soul moves on and on,
Rummage across every soul to be found.
And the seek never ends,
Because it seems you are forever gone.

I don’t have the reminiscences of you
But I hold the ones in whom I tried to find you.
They still love to be near to me,
Cause they humble me everytime I realize this,
That you don’t dwell in them,
And things will never be the same.
The fight with self to come out never ends,
Your murmur will wake me up,
And ill start searching for you again….

Of talking cats and hungry ghosts

In a virtual world I saw,
When I was in the depths of a good midnight sleep,
A house I built and was so happy about.
With the gardens and scenic beauty sprawled around.
But a curious looking home so opposite to mine,
With the doors left open to the world and I thought it was fine.
Till a cat with its feminine grace,
Spoke so wisely till the surprise absorbed into me.
A warning that the curious door had something strange,
And my legs should falter in its ways.

Ignoring the nine lived one, I stepped inside,
Her words were true for I had found a white robed, black eyed beautiful one,
Her eyes fixed at me with a stare sending chills down my spine,
Kissing me with a wicked smile and vanishing high into the skies.
The kitchen knives snapped at their own will,
And I saw a man befitted to be with the beautiful one,
Fate had him cooking for her,
A paper ball, I threw at his virtual being, and he vanished into the thin air.

The Midnight winds called me by thy name,
The voices telling me to come to them,
Hypnotized by the visions of the white robed one,
I stepped through the doors again,
Scared self had nothing to lose for he had found something new and nothing will go in vain.
All the pain he endured forced him to go with the people of the place unknown.
To the world of Talking cats and hungry ghosts.
Away from the repeated wounds by the endless love and hate,
Let him be blessed with the unbothered & stone spirits and be forever lost.
Of talking cats and Hungry Ghosts…hehehehe

Escape

Not many of us want to stay,
In this everlasting commonplace.
Where many hearts turn to stones and hit through,
Bleeding out the innocent trust, your mother had given you.
Wishes die a silent death with the millions,
And gets soiled with the buried grave.
All this now I cannot bear,
Away to a never land, how I wish I could have escaped…

Not many of us love to believe,
In the dreams which many people like to live.
Where many illusions seem to come to reality,
Illusions which in the real life and lack the so called clarity.
Many live through the broken pieces,
Of the shattered glass colored by the rainbow of wishes.
Wishes of running free and doors to the minds forever awake,
How I wish I floated with these wishes and forever run away.

Not many try to understand me,
Because of the dizzying depths I try to be.
A million things at hand as I try to break free,
With a masked smile and the extreme levels of acquired eccentricity.
With my own mind I try to make peace as well as fray,
One day they will understand as I try to explicate.
Holding the cold hands of solitude I try to pray,
Wish to never come back, from a never land to where I have escaped…

Sleeping Pill

As I wait for the sun,
I close my eyes till I go numb.
Pitch black silence is all i get to hear,
As the call from the one, for some strange reason,
Like the same sun, it never comes.

As i wait for the noises to drown me,
From the deathly silence of my own voice which seems airy.
it seems i can never hear your sweet voice again,
Because your ignorance has left me deaf to hear anything.

As i tend to leave this madness,
Try to sleep with reinforced sadness,
The small bottle of escape i can see glittering.
The pills of happiness call me to devour them,
And they are flattering.

I pop them with utmost clarity,
And i see the things i always wanted to see,
Be with the one i always wished to be with.
The slow motion of events seems like eternity,
And they finally make me sleep forever with their,
Dark yet sweet lullaby...

The Wish

In my room, the claustrophobic walls close down on me,
Through my soul they glow, the dark stains of guilt.
The chants seem louder evermore,
For the prayer of forgiveness make me feel much stronger.

In the times of yore, a Flower I crushed with bare hands.
The fragrance of which had resurrected me from the deep dark sands.
The loud stupidity deafened the cries of the sacred tie,
And the tears rained from the blackened skies.
But still with the undying affection it calls me back.
And now it feels me with the remorse choking me to death.

The pardon for the sin is all I seek.
Thy soul it begs for no death, but reprieve.
The wish of all things to come,
Can’t it be the same as before it used to be?

I just let out the things untold,
We have just one life to live, till we grow old.
Nothing will remain except our burning souls,
Haunted it will be praying
For someone to finish the stories left not whole.

The angel in you shall bring me to life,
The ray of forgiveness will fill me with might,
A promise I keep not to be broken,
Never to break your heart but heal it with love awakened.
Thou shall bless me with time,
But the holy punishment I should endure it through,
For I have burnt the wings of a cupid like you…

Tidal Minds

Life is so mean,
The more positive you get the more negative things seem to be.
Is it when we get positive, we expect more and things get worse,
Or the fear of negativity looms on us like a vengeful curse.

I have been knifed through several times,
Am bleeding to death.
When I die, I will still be alive,
But my actions will be dead.
It’s my mind which will live,
Live till it dies its death.

In a dream I saw, a rain of thousand suns,
Burrowing the earth, already bleeded by a million guns.
Together we taste the lips of death,
Scattered bastards pondered into dust.

Maniacal tendencies seem to rain upon me,
Through the high tides, I sail through the mood swings.
Chained to life I need to escape, need to kill me free.
Or tidal minds will take me back home,
And haunted forever I will be….

-- Nikhil Rao/Varun Rao.

When things change

When things change,
Everything feels so confused and strange.
The dear one’s tears,
And the silent goodbyes I will have to face.

When things started to change,
You knew it would come one day.
The strength I had, it came only from you.
Cause the love you had for me, was so much true.

At this moment,
I can see the tears filled up in your eyes.
As we hold each other’s hands,
And lock those beautiful moments we spent,
And hold them tight.

For we know when things change,
We won’t be together anymore, to see each other age away.
And as we search for answers in each other’s eyes,
You will come to know when things change,
How it feels like.

I just keep the hope for a beautiful tomorrow.
I will be a promise to you to protect you from the darkest times.
For when things change,
It will be for good, and not be a reason for the tears
Filled in your eyes…

The Wait

Found a reason to live again,
Now the tears have dried as you have ebbed the pain.
You know we can be together, so why not try to find a way,
I have come too far, either ill face the death,
Or forever go insane.
Every word I speak goes with your name,
Every thought I think is inspired with an aim.
Every step I keep pushes me towards you,
Every word of love I say has you in the view.

All the love I can give and get.
Without you this soul will cease to exist,
I need your grace without which I know I can never be me.
I know the light at the end of the tunnel,
Both of us together, it wishes to see.

We only have one life to live,
We can choose how it should be,
You are the reason for my every breath,
Make me live, or leave the soul alone and forget.
The story is incomplete; it’s now or never,
You will either have or lose me forever.

Time and again I will live to tell the same story,
Of the love which was lost and went unnoticed.
Time and again ill say the words for you,
You are the one for whom I will always be true.
I won’t be afraid cause the world has so much less to give,
With all the love for you, I will wait till the end of time,
Till the heart can no longer sing and hear the love chimes,
I will wait till my soul, dries up with the fading memories,Whispering your name till it silently dies…

Warriors

Once they reined the kingdom of knights,
The ale flowed merrily and they never lost a fight.
The heavy swords clanged with their horse’s steady flight,
And they ruled the lands galore and increased their armor might.

But caught between the spiraling conspiracies,
They became the goats in the killing fields,
The picture of their hanged loved one’s tormented them in their dreams.
The blood still fresh and they ran for their lives.
The only death wish breathing strong,
To guide them back to their ancient might.

The fortress of vengeance they built this time,
To make their enemies hear the sweet death chimes.
Together they prepared for the final skirmish.
Off they galloped to surmount the Fortress of the Dark Devilish.

The swords were drawn and the blood was sprayed,
Flying arrows and their shields swayed.
Some sniffed death and some still prayed,
For the warriors of the fallen,
The crowd hailed.

The forts of Darkness isn’t conquered yet,
The able men had watched their dreams ambushed,
And they wept.
Now as the rain batters their armored chests,
And till the ghosts of their loved and lost one’s,
Are laid to rest,
The fight for glory shall begin,
Till the darkness envelopes them unto the final death.

Pretty girl in the bus

I saw a pretty girl in the bus
Looked lost and she wasn’t among us
Kept looking at her till our eyes they met
The connection was made, she knew this too I bet.

I played this song and she smiled at me,
At the corner of her seat, she blushed which I could see
At once I knew, I was singing this for her.
I wasn’t bothered, about the cheers by others.

I saw a pretty girl in the bus
Clearly I could see her, inspite of the rush.
I just picked up these strings; they played on their own,
And she swayed to it, she never would have done.

Then I remember, she got a phone call,
A glance at me with a smile, and then she spoke.
Her cheeks blushed pink, her eyes filled with love.
I sensed someone else, was more worthy to her.
As if she heard my mind, she nodded yes.
My heart broke; I didn’t bother, because it’s always the same.
I just played the 6 strings, everybody listened.
I saw a pretty girl in the bus…

Midnight Zombie

Just walked inside the lone looking pantry
As i leaned forward to get my refreshing cup of tea,
I felt this eerie feeling that she stands besides me,
Her voices reaching my ears, questioning my silent days.

My eyes felt tempted to look at "her",
At the same time not to turn, for I felt a slight fear.
"Shall we go back as we are late",
She kept on asking this to me again and again.
As "we" walked together, she spoke,
Questioning my silence and waiting for my reply, it was a repeated provoke,
The urge to look at "her" was terrible,
Almost opened my mouth to speak,
And for a moment my body trembled.

As the pace of my legs increased,
She seemed unable to catch up with me,
"Sir, even I am there with you",
Her words made me skip my heartbeat.

As i was left pondering whether this was for real,
I knew how much i missed her and this is why I feel.
Wherever she is, her thoughts will haunt me,
Reminding me of all the good days we spent
Etched forever in my book of memories.

The first poem of my life dated 30th April 2001, Embrace the Death

Life’s been through a miserable time,
Truth’s been a dangerous crime.
Devil has reined the puppets mere
Every man is his lion’s hare.
Listen dammit go to hell
No place for you in the master’s care
Life will be worse even than hell
If you don’t invite the death.

On the earth where men kill men
It scares the poor beasts
Hell is the word that will replace life
Which is better than a battlefield
No epic is dangerous than life
Where humanity has come to nil
Blood is the river, flesh are the rivers
Which will breathe out tongues of fire
Life will be worse than that
If you don’t embrace the death

Brother hacks brother for no good
There’s no hope from one’s own blood
With the wind you will be blown to hell
Where the gongs are sounding like knell
The fact of life is a dangerous lot
Better not live to see the dawn
So better be early than late
Better embrace the death!!!

Roses Ecrase (Crushed Roses)

Like a tune without a bouquet of words,
Feeling crushed beneath the impeccable curse.
One merciless stone killed both the birds,
One broken soul sacrificed everything, but its words.

It seemed like a perfect love,
Filled with the words of beauty, others could never show.
An unordinary story of an endless “worship”,
Waiting to get tinted in a vivid golden script.
Miles apart but the story still lived,
Inching forward slowly, but not many believed.
With the speed of light, the delusions ran high,
Shadowed the reality’s ever blackened sky.
But the soul was numbed by the everlasting severance,
From the “One” far across the ocean seven.

There she stood, an angel of the “Other” heaven,
Close to thy eyes, trying hard to drown my delirious high.
The heart sang the words for her,
Mystified self asking me the question why?
A shocking reality now I faced,
Altered “Love” threatening to disgrace.
Faced with a judgment too hard to swallow,
Crush the two “Roses”,
Or
Let their thorns fill me with Hollow.

The punishment was due,
For thy soul had refused to face the truth.
Slowly sniffing out the breath,
Of the thoughts now filled with deep regret.
The petals of love, I pluck them out,
And crush them muffling their pleading shouts.
Only a silent distance
&
The long lost friendship prevails, it stands tall,
As I bury them beneath the unsaid bouquet of dreams,
Everything fails to exist but the Reminiscence remains…